Senior Year 03: Girls, Girls Everywhere
by Wild Pikachu
Summary: A day in the life of Mackenzie McQueen, as everyone takes a turn babysitting.
1. Teaser

**Notes:** _(Re-edited and re-uploaded September 2010)_

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**Guest Cast:**  
Cherry Cherry: Delta Burke  
Mrs. Ferrera: Susan Ruttan  
Art Fleischer: Brett Cullen

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**Formatting:** The main differences between the way the episodes are presented here and true script format are that on this website, everything is left-justified, while script format has specific block-margins for dialog, etc., and that scripts are still traditionally printed in Courier (monospace) font. These episodes are also available on my Popular website (link is in my info) if you would like to read them as though they were printed scripts.

**Legal whatchamacallit:** Pre-existing "Popular" characters and situations are ©1999-2001 Touchstone Television, et al. For what it's worth, original material is ©2001-2010 by yours truly, the Wild Pikachu. Please don't steal this without asking first.

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POPULAR: SENIOR YEAR

**GIRLS, GIRLS EVERYWHERE, AND NOT A ONE TO SIT**

TEASER

FADE IN:

EST. A CITY SKYLINE - DAY

When the panoramic shot passes a few familiar landmarks—such  
as the Space Needle—it becomes clear that the city in  
question is Seattle.

DISSOLVE TO:

MONTAGE

As the scenes close into more detail, however, it also becomes  
clear that this Seattle isn't quite the same: most of the  
cars are pointed, bulletlike; and a few float above the  
streets instead of rolling along them. A shot of workmen  
taking down a worn sign that reads "Happy New Year 2026" sets  
the time clearly. The scene finally focuses in on a gleaming  
blue-and-green geodesic dome that seems to float above the  
waters of the bay. As the shot closes in further, a stylized  
sign reading "REIGNDOME" slides by; the blank wall of the dome  
swells to fill the screen, and—

CUT TO:

INT. THE REIGNDOME

A state-of-the-art basketball arena, which is also apparently  
deserted. The scene is sweeping across the empty stands  
when—

WOMAN (O.S.)  
Hey!

The panning movement stops suddenly.

WOMAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)  
Down here!

The shot drops precipitously, to a grown-up Mackenzie McQueen,  
dressed in a Seattle Reign uniform and standing in the middle  
of the court, basketball in hand.

MACKENZIE  
(to the camera)  
Hi. I'm Mackenzie McQueen, of the  
Seattle Reign.

INSERT: THE REIGNDOME CEILING

A set of WNBA Championship banners is hanging from the  
rafters.

A sharp whistle brings the shot back down again.

MACKENZIE (CONT'D)  
Yeah, those are nice—but it's not  
what I wanted to talk about.

She starts meandering around the court, casually dribbling the  
basketball.

MACKENZIE (CONT'D)  
I'll tell you the weirdest  
question I ever got in an  
interview. It was, "How did you  
turn out so normal, when your  
family is so strange?"  
(considering)  
Well, first of all, I'm glad  
people think I'm "normal"...but I  
have to tell you, I didn't just  
have a strange family. Not that  
they AREN'T strange—I mean, I  
have two older half-sisters, who  
are step-sisters to each other.  
Kinda makes us a triangle—like  
the old triangle offense twenty  
years ago?  
(pause)  
Nevermind—nobody uses it anymore.  
Anyway, it wasn't just them.  
During my first formative years,  
EVERYONE I was around was strange.  
You wouldn't believe some of the  
things that happened.  
(reflecting)  
There was this one day...I don't  
even think I was six months old  
yet. And this one day was just, a  
complete symbol of my whole world  
growing up.  
(chuckling)  
The thing is, people swear to me  
that this day, never happened.  
But I remember.  
I know, you're thinking I was too  
young to remember anything. But I  
have excellent neo-natal memory.  
The doctors say so. It's some  
gene—the same thing that lets me  
see the seam in the 3-2 zone,  
every time.  
(frowning)  
At least, I think it's the same  
gene...  
(shrugs)  
Hey, what do I know? I got a C  
minus in bio-genetics. But I do  
remember that day...and if there's  
two things I'm really, really good  
at, it's remembering things, and  
basketball.

With that, she turns and flips up an effortless shot that goes  
whishing through the basket, fifty feet away.

MACKENZIE (CONT'D)  
(grinning)  
See? Watch, and learn.

WHITE OUT.

END OF TEASER


	2. Act One

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT. MCQUEEN DINING ROOM - MORNING

The household is more hectic than normal, especially for a  
Saturday: Sam is sitting at the table, munching on an orange  
while tapping away on her laptop; Jane is in the kitchen,  
cooking; and Mike is standing nearby, with the phone jammed  
against one ear and his hand over the other. And in the  
middle of it all, smack in the center of the dining room  
table, is Mackenzie, lying snug in her bassinet.

MIKE  
(shouting)  
What? I can barely hear you!...  
No, Jeff, you're going to have to  
speak up!... What? When?...  
No, that's impossible... I said,  
that's impossible!...

JANE  
(calling)  
Brooke! Breakfast!

BROOKE (O.S.)  
Coming!

MIKE  
All right...all right!... I'll  
be there as soon as I can!

As he hangs up the phone and turns to Jane, she is already  
rounding on him, spatula in hand.

MIKE (CONT'D)  
Jane—

JANE  
No, Mike, no! I've got three  
houses to show before noon!

MIKE  
Honey, I have to take this  
meeting. There's just no way I  
can get out of it.

JANE  
Look, we decided we needed the  
income from my real estate  
business. There isn't going to BE  
any income if I start backing out  
of showings.

At an impasse, they do the logical thing: together they turn  
to Sam.

JANE/MIKE  
Sam—

SAM  
(without looking up)  
Uh, nope, guys, I have a job too,  
remember? I have to be at the  
paper by—

A car horn honks outside.

SAM (CONT'D)  
That's Lily now. Gotta go.

Sam snaps the laptop shut and gathers it up, heading for the  
patio door. With her hand on the handle, she turns back.

SAM (CONT'D)  
You know, all this scheduling  
might be easier if I had my own  
car...

JANE  
Nice try.

SAM  
I'm just saying—

JANE  
Go!

With an exaggerated sigh, Sam sails through the door, just as  
Brooke comes into the room. Mike practically pounces on her.

MIKE  
Brooke! You have to watch Mac  
this morning.

Brooke is caught totally off-guard.

BROOKE  
Huh—what? But—I've got plans!

JANE  
We're sorry, but you're just going  
to have to break them.

BROOKE  
Wait, how come I have to be the  
one who has her day ruined?

MIKE  
(kissing her forehead)  
Because you're the only one  
without a job.

Mike tosses a tie around his neck and grabs his suit coat on  
his way out of the room.

MIKE (CONT'D)  
(over his shoulder)  
I'll see you tonight!

As Brooke plops down in her chair despondently, Jane sets a  
plate of scrambled eggs down in front of her.

JANE  
Here, honey, eat up. I have to  
get ready for my showings.

With that, Jane rushes out, leaving Brooke and Mackenzie  
alone. Brooke picks at her food, glowering over her plate at  
Mackenzie.

BROOKE  
You know, for someone who can't  
talk, you're a lot of trouble.

The baby just peeks over the edge of the bassinet and coos.

FLIP CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN LIVING ROOM - LATER

Brooke is half-reclined on the sofa, reading, with Mackenzie's  
bassinet firmly ensconced on the coffee table.

The phone rings, and she reaches lazily over her head to grab  
it.

BROOKE  
(into the phone)  
Hello?... What?—No... No, you  
don't understand, I'm watching  
Mac... No, I, I couldn't  
possibly... What?... All right,  
all right... Fine.

Brooke hangs up the phone and throws another aggrieved look in  
Mackenzie's direction.

CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN LIVING ROOM - LATER

ANGLE: THE FRONT DOOR

The doorbell rings, and when Brooke opens the door, Lily is  
standing on the front stoop.

BROOKE  
(grumbing)  
This better be important.

LILY  
(earnestly)  
I wouldn't ask otherwise, Brooke.

CUT TO:

INT. LILY'S CAR - MOVING

Mackenzie is safely secured in the back seat.

BROOKE  
So, where are we going?

LILY  
The County Records Office Annex.

BROOKE  
Isn't everything closed on  
Saturday?

LILY  
The annex is open in the mornings.

BROOKE  
I still don't understand.

LILY  
(patiently)  
Okay—it's really simple. I just  
need you to get ahold of an old  
EIR.

BROOKE  
E-I-what?

LILY  
Environmental Impact Report.  
Look, these developers are trying  
to do an end-run around the  
Planning Commission.  
But, if we can get our hands on  
the EIR that was done back in '74,  
that'll force the City Council to  
open up the review process.

Brooke shakes her head, clearly letting most of Lily's  
explanation go over her head.

BROOKE  
Fine, fine, whatever. What I  
don't get is why you need ME to go  
get this evironmental thingee.

Lily pauses for an embarrassed moment.

LILY  
Well...they kinda know me.

Brooke prompts her to go on.

LILY (CONT'D)  
(peeved)  
All right—I admit maybe I've been  
a little...aggressive...in the  
past.

BROOKE  
If you go in there, they'll throw  
you out.

LILY  
They can't throw me out, it's a  
public office. But they could  
take five years to find the  
report.

BROOKE  
This sounds more like Sam's  
department. Why isn't she helping  
you?

LILY  
She's very wrapped up in her  
newspaper gig. I mean, I'm  
completely supportive and all.  
But she never seems to have any  
time for anything else anymore.

BROOKE  
(rolling her eyes)  
I know...I hardly ever see her  
around the house.  
(considering)  
Not that we were doing a lot of  
sisterly-bonding stuff anyway.

LILY  
(looking over)  
Are you two still fighting?

BROOKE  
No—besides, we were never really  
fighting in the first place. We  
just...  
(shrugging)  
I don't know.  
(pause)  
What about you and Josh?

LILY  
Us? Oh, we're fine.

After a moment of silence, Lily notices Brooke looking at her  
speculatively.

LILY (CONT'D)  
What?

BROOKE  
Nothing.

Another long silence.

LILY  
Okay, Brooke, you went with Josh  
back when he was the star  
quarterback, right?

BROOKE  
(cautiously)  
Yeah...

LILY  
Was he...really into the whole  
football thing?

BROOKE  
(considering)  
Well...yeah. But that was a long  
time ago.  
(rolling her eyes)  
God, I wouldn't want anyone  
remembering what I was like a  
couple years ago.  
(pause)  
Why?

LILY  
It's probably nothing. I'm  
probably just being completely  
paranoid.

BROOKE  
(insistent)  
What?

LILY  
Okay...you know how George asked  
him to help out with the team a  
couple weeks ago?

BROOKE  
Yeah...

LILY  
Well, since then he's been  
spending more and more time on  
football. Don't get me wrong—  
just because football's a bunch of  
testosterone-loaded jocks running  
around a field making fools of  
themselves and wasting everyone's  
time for three hours, doesn't mean  
I want him to give it up just for  
me.

BROOKE  
Did you give him the testosterone  
loaded speech?

LILY  
Maybe I should.  
(pause)  
So?

Brooke gazes out her side window for a moment before turning  
back.

BROOKE  
You're right. It's nothing.

LILY  
Brooke!

BROOKE  
I'm serious! Look, when I was  
going with Josh, football was,  
like, his whole life. He was  
turning pro, okay?  
You don't just get that kind of  
commitment back by hanging around  
a few practices. Don't sweat it—  
even if he does...dilly-dally  
around the feld, it won't last  
very long. He's got too many  
other things to worry about.

LILY  
(sourly)  
I don't think I want to be  
something he "worries about".

BROOKE  
I didn't mean it like that.

LILY  
Yeah, I know.

CUT TO:

EXT. A PARKING LOT

as Lily's car turns in and pulls up to the entrance of one of  
the buildings.

CUT TO:

INT. LILY'S CAR

Lily hands Brooke a piece of paper.

LILY  
Okay, here's what you're looking  
for. Remember, they're  
bureaucrats in there—be  
assertive.

BROOKE  
Right. Assertive.

LILY  
But not aggressive. You need them  
to help you.

BROOKE  
Don't worry. I'm good with the  
charm.

Brooke opens the passenger door and steps out.

LILY  
And don't you worry about Mac and  
me, we'll be fine. I have a bunch  
of politically correct and  
environmentally sound activities  
planned.

BROOKE  
(leaning in the window)  
I think she's a little young to  
get ecology.

LILY  
(wagging her finger)  
You're never too young.

She looks to the back seat.

LILY (CONT'D)  
Come on, you—let's let Brooke do  
the important work, while we have  
some fun.  
(to Brooke)  
Call me.

As Lily drives off.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE


	3. Act Two

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

INT. THE REIGNDOME

where Mackenzie is lazily spread out over one of the courtside  
seats.

MACKENZIE  
(to the camera)  
...so, there I was with Aunt Lily,  
and—

A soft ring interrupts Mackenzie's train of thought.

MACKENZIE (CONT'D)  
(holding up a finger)  
Hang on.

She reaches down and produces a miniature cell phone, which  
she puts to her ear.

MACKENZIE (CONT'D)  
(into the phone)  
Hello?... Oh, hey, I was just  
talking about you... No, I  
haven't forgotten... Yes, I'll  
meet your little delegation at the  
airport, and I'm sure they'll be  
thrilled... Relax, Aunt Lily,  
I've got it all taken care of.

She puts away the phone and shakes her head.

MACKENZIE (CONT'D)  
(to the camera)  
That's one thing about being a  
WNBA player—everybody and their  
grandmother wants tickets.  
(pause)  
Okay, where was I? Oh, right—  
spending the morning with Aunt  
Lily...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. JOSH AND LILY'S APARTMENT

The front door opens, and Lily enters, carrying Mackenzie's  
bassinet in her hand and a diaper bag slung over her shoulder.

LILY  
(calling)  
Josh? Jo-osh!

Silence is the only response. Lily starts to look around,  
concerned, but then sniffs the air, and glowers down at  
Mackenzie good-naturedly.

LILY (CONT'D)  
Smells like someone needs their  
diaper changed.

CUT TO:

INT. THE KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

ANGLE: THE KITCHEN TABLE

Lily sets Mackenzie down on a towel, and picks at her diaper  
critically.

LILY  
Ewww...disposable? Don't they  
know how much of America's  
landfills are taken up by  
disposable diapers?

She looks in the diaper bag briefly, but comes up  
disappointed.

LILY (CONT'D)  
(to Mackenzie)  
You hang on—I'll be right back.

Lily goes away for a couple of moments, then reappears holding  
a cloth diaper and some safety pins.

LILY (CONT'D)  
Good thing the lady from the Anti  
Pampers league left samples.

CUT TO:

FAST-MOTION MONTAGE

of Lily changing Mackenzie's diaper, with a few false starts,  
spills and oopses along the way.

FLIP CUT TO:

INT. THE LIVING ROOM

Lily emerges from the kitchen, carrying Mackenzie in the  
bassinet.

LILY  
There, isn't that better than  
those nasty ol' disposables?  
(pause)  
Now, where do you suppose Josh  
went to?

Coming around the end of the sofa, she spots a note lying on  
the end table. She sets the bassinet down on the sofa and  
picks up the note.

LILY (CONT'D)  
(reading)  
Lily, went to practice, back after  
a while, Josh.

Lily scowls down at Mackenzie.

LILY (CONT'D)  
You know what this means, don't  
you?

Mackenzie stares up at her.

LILY (CONT'D)  
That's right—we've got some  
testosterone to squelch.

Lily is about to pick up the bassinet when the phone rings.  
She changes direction and picks up the phone.

LILY (CONT'D)  
(into the phone)  
Hello...? What?... I can barely  
hear you!

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. A ROOM

A dim, dusty room. Brooke is standing next to a rickety  
copier, holding her cell phone.

BROOKE  
I said, I'm in the basement! Do  
you have any idea how big this  
report of yours is?  
Eleven hundred pages! And they  
won't let you take it, you have to  
make a copy of it! Do you know  
how LONG it's going to take to  
copy this thing?

LILY  
Brooke, don't worry.

BROOKE  
Don't worry? I'm down here  
copying my ass off and all you can  
say is "don't worry"?

LILY  
I mean, I'll come help you. You  
can slip me in through the back  
door.

BROOKE  
But, what about Mac?

LILY  
I'll—just don't worry. I'll get  
Josh to look after her...

She takes the phone away for a moment.

LILY (CONT'D)  
...as soon as I can find him.

BROOKE  
What?

LILY  
Uh, nothing. Brooke, I'll be  
there as soon as I can.

BROOKE  
(matter-of-factly)  
I'm going to die here. They're  
going to find my fossilized  
remains next to this copy machine.

LILY  
You're being over-dramatic. I'll  
be there soon—so keep copying!

Brooke growls and flips her phone shut.

Meanwhile, Lily looks down at Mackenzie.

LILY (CONT'D)  
First we squelch the testosterone,  
then I go help Brooke.

CUT TO:

INT. LILY'S CAR - MOVING

with Mackenzie once again secured in back.

LILY  
You know, all that macho jock  
stuff—that really isn't Josh. I  
mean, he might act that way  
sometimes, but underneath he's  
really kind, and sweet, and  
caring—

Lily glances back at Mackenzie.

LILY (CONT'D)  
We'd better get to school fast.

SWEEP CUT TO:

EXT. THE FOOTBALL FIELD - LATER

The field looks more like a lake; a thin sheen of water covers  
the infield. Lily stands behind the chain-link fence, again  
carrying Mackenzie and the diaper bag.

LILY  
(wonderingly)  
Water football?

CARMEN (O.S.)  
(hushed)  
Psst! Lily!

Lily looks around, and finally spies Carmen's head peeking out  
from around the corner of one of the buildings. She walks  
over.

LILY  
What are you doing hiding back  
here?

CARMEN  
Shhh! I'm hiding from Sugar  
Daddy.

LILY  
What? Didn't you work everything  
out?

CARMEN  
Well...not exactly.

LILY  
You sound like a Hertz commercial.  
What do you mean, "not exactly"?

CARMEN  
We hang out and stuff, but...

Lily motions her on.

CARMEN (CONT'D)  
...we just...never really talked  
about...you know, stuff.

LILY  
Carmen, he's a guy. Guys don't  
talk about "stuff". Well, unless  
you corner them.

She gestures at the washed-out field.

LILY (CONT'D)  
So, I thought there was a  
practice?

CARMEN  
Oh, I think a sprinkler broke. I  
heard Coach Krupps tell the guys  
to head somewhere else.

Lily waits expectantly, but no more details are forthcoming.

LILY  
Well? Where?

CARMEN  
Uh, I wasn't really paying  
attention. Why is it so important  
to find the football team, anyway?

LILY  
I don't need to find the whole  
team—just Josh.

CARMEN  
(uncomprehending)  
Why?

LILY  
I have to stop the insidious pull  
of intramural sports, before Josh  
slides back into the morass of the  
jock lifestyle.

CARMEN  
You got that out of a brochure,  
didn't you?

Lily shoots Carmen a dirty look.

LILY  
You have NO idea where they went?

CARMEN  
Sorry.

LILY  
(thinking)  
It must be one of the other high  
schools.

Lily starts to walk away, but Carmen puts out a hand to stop  
her.

CARMEN  
Hold on! Are you nuts? Do you  
know how many places they could  
have gone? You can't just drag a  
baby all around town looking for  
Josh!

Lily looks down at Mackenzie as if she'd forgotten she was  
there, and shakes her head.

LILY  
I don't know WHAT I was thinking.

With one smooth motion, she thrusts the bassinet and the  
diaper bag into Carmen's hands.

LILY (CONT'D)  
Thanks a million, Carmen.

Before Carmen can react, Lily runs off.

CARMEN  
(calling)  
Hey! That's not what I...  
(trailing off)  
...meant.

Defeated, she looks down at Mackenzie, and immediately perks  
up a bit.

CARMEN (CONT'D)  
(cooing)  
Hi there, little baby girl.

Out of the blue—

MARY CHERRY (O.S.)  
(from behind)  
Well, hey there!

Carmen jumps, and then spins around, hand over her heart.

CARMEN  
God, Mary Cherry, don't do that!  
I almost dropped Mac!

Mary Cherry comes up and peers down into the bassinet.

MARY CHERRY  
So this is Brooke's lil sister,  
huh? Mama always says there's  
three things the world can't have  
enough of: sunshine, babies and T  
bills.

Carmen shrugs gamely.

MARY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
Hey, I know! You aren't doing  
anything, are you?

CARMEN  
(cautiously)  
Uhhh...I guess not—

MARY CHERRY  
Come on, then!

Mary Cherry grabs Carmen's arm; and, on cue, the Cherry  
limousine pulls up in the parking lot.

CARMEN  
(suspiciously)  
Come on where?

Mary Cherry herds Carmen and Mackenzie to the limo and bundles  
them in.

CUT TO:

INT. THE CHERRY LIMO - CONTINUOUS

MARY CHERRY  
I think it's high time that we  
introduce little Mac here to one  
of the most hallowed, most sacred  
traditions of female existence.

CARMEN  
Huh?

MARY CHERRY  
Why, shopping, of course.  
(calling forward)  
To the mall, James!

The limo pulls away.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO


	4. Act Three

ACT THREE

FADE IN:

INT. THE REIGNDOME

Where Mackenzie is sauntering down the sideline with a  
basketball in her hands, unconsciously dribbling as she walks.

MACKENZIE  
...Mary Cherry, she's quite a  
character, you know. I mean,  
today everyone just sees her as  
this really serious businesswoman,  
but I could tell you some  
stories...

For a moment she gets lost in a reverie; then she flicks the  
ball away.

MACKENZIE (CONT'D)  
...but I won't. Except for the  
mall...

FADE TO:

EST. THE MALL PARKING LOT

A humongous mall, surrounded by an even more humongous parking  
lot, into which the limo glides magestically.

CUT TO:

INT. THE CHERRY LIMO - CONTINUOUS

CARMEN  
The Megamall? Isn't that starting  
off a bit...strong?

MARY CHERRY  
Why mess with less when you can  
skip to the best?

The limo stops and, without waiting for the chauffeur, Mary  
Cherry opens the door and steps out, followed by Carmen (and  
Mackenzie).

MARY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
(flipping her sunglasses down)  
Ladies, let's get ready to shop.

CUT TO:

MONTAGE

An extended, quick-cut montage of the two girls and baby  
making the rounds of various elegant boutiques. Many ritzy  
salespeople fawn over them—especially Mackenzie—giving way  
to several sequences of Mary Cherry and Carmen trying on  
clothes and accessories, plus Mackenzie in a number of  
outrageous fashion get-ups. All of this is interlaced with  
shots of the back of the limo filling up with bags.

CUT TO:

INT. THE CHERRY LIMO - LATER

Mary Cherry and Carmen drop into the back seat, spent.

MARY CHERRY  
Whoo! Like my Mama says, shoppin'  
is the best way to exercise.

She looks over at Carmen.

MARY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
(accusingly)  
But you didn't buy anything,  
Carmen.

Carmen holds up two small bags.

CARMEN  
Sure I did. Not all of us have  
platinum cards to wave around.

MARY CHERRY  
Sad, but true.  
(pause)  
You know what? I am famished.  
Let's eat!  
(to the chauffeur)  
Home, James!

EFFECT CUT TO:

INT. THE CHERRY DINING ROOM - LATER

It's a huge, lavishly decorated room, of course, featuring one  
of those impossibly long tables. Mary Cherry are sitting  
across from each other near one end, with Mackenzie perched on  
the table nearby.

CARMEN  
(looking up and around)  
You mean to tell me, you eat here  
every day.

MARY CHERRY  
Don't be silly—where else would I  
eat?

A very proper butler appears, carrying two covered silver  
platters. He sets them down in front of the girls, removes  
the covers with a flourish, and retreats. Carmen stares down  
dubiously at an assortment of exotic delicacies.

MARY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
Well? Don't just sit there  
starin' at it—dig in!

While Mary Cherry attacks her food, Carmen picks up a fork,  
takes a tiny piece of something at random and nibbles on it.

A heavy door slamming in the distance makes them both jump.

CHERRY CHERRY (O.S.)  
(from another room, growing louder)  
...dang those two-timing little  
varmits!

Cherry Cherry stomps into the room furiously.

CHERRY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
...forked-tongue snake-oil  
salesmen—

The instant that she sees Carmen, she freezes in mid-sentence,  
a plastic grin covering her face.

CHERRY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
My, I didn't know we had company.

MARY CHERRY  
(getting up)  
Mama, you remember Carmen? From  
school?

CHERRY CHERRY  
(irritably)  
Of course I do. What, do I look  
senile?

As Mary Cherry struggles to catch up, Cherry Cherry goes up to  
the bassinet and peers down quizzically.

CHERRY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
Well, now, who's this young-un?

She looks up at Carmen sharply.

CHERRY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
You're not one of those teenage  
unwed mothers, are you?

CARMEN  
Oh—oh, no, she's not mine! I  
mean, I'm just—

MARY CHERRY  
This is Mackenzie McQueen. You  
know, Brooke's sister?

Cherry Cherry gives her daughter a freezing look.

CHERRY CHERRY  
Child, I have thirty-nine cousins.  
I don't need help keeping family  
relations straight.

CARMEN  
(curiously)  
Excuse me, did you say thirty-nine  
cousins?

CHERRY CHERRY  
Lor', yes. Why, our family's got  
more kin than fireworks durin' the  
Fourth of Ju-ly.

Before Carmen can respond to that, Cherry Cherry peeks under  
Mackenzie's blanket, and something catches her eye.

CHERRY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
My gawd—is that a SAFETY PIN?

Carmen takes a look herself.

CARMEN  
Uhhhh...I guess so?

CHERRY CHERRY  
Well! No child in THIS house is  
going to have her diaper done with  
common safety pins!  
(calling)  
Maria! MARIA!

A maid appears in one of the doorways.

MARIA  
Si, Senora Cherry?

CHERRY CHERRY  
Get diaper pins.  
(shooing)  
Go, go!

MARIA  
Si, Senora Cherry.

Maria disappears.

CARMEN  
Mrs. Cherry, that's really all  
ri—

CHERRY CHERRY  
Oh, hush up! It's not like  
anyone's makin' any use of 'em  
now, right, Mary Cherry?

MARY CHERRY  
(meekly)  
Yes, Mama.

The maid reappears, holding a pair of jeweled pins.

CHERRY CHERRY  
Well, don't just stand there—put  
'em on!

The maid scurries to put the pins on Mackenzie's diaper,  
something she tolerates without much fuss. Carmen gapes at  
the pins.

CARMEN  
Are those...real?

CHERRY CHERRY  
(offended)  
Why, of course! Nothin' in this  
house is fake!

Mary Cherry clears her throat; her mother looks down for a  
moment.

CHERRY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
Well, none o' the jewels, anyway!

Carmen is still looking at the pins.

CARMEN  
You mean, when Mary Cherry was a  
baby, she wore those?

CHERRY CHERRY  
(guffaws)  
Oh, the stories I could tell you  
about that daughter o' mine...

Mary Cherry starts to get up; Carmen follows obligingly.

MARY CHERRY  
Er, maybe we oughta just leave  
Mama alone—

CHERRY CHERRY  
Sit!

The girls plop back in their seats. Mary Cherry leans back.

CHERRY CHERRY (CONT'D)  
Now, then: When Mary Cherry was  
just a few months old, she...

DISSOLVE TO:

MONTAGE

A short sequence of Cherry Cherry regailing stories upon  
Carmen, while Mary Cherry cringes in embarrassment.  
Meanwhile, Mackenzie sits in the middle of it all, gurgling  
and making baby sounds.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. THE CHERRY MANSION

Mary Cherry and Carmen emerge from a side door, with Carmen  
carrying Mackenzie.

CARMEN  
You know, your mother's really...  
interesting.

MARY CHERRY  
I swear, Carmen Ferrera, if you  
repeat ONE WORD of any of that to  
anyone—!

CARMEN  
(laughing)  
Don't worry. I don't think anyone  
would believe me, anyway.

She looks down at Mackenzie.

CARMEN (CONT'D)  
I guess we'd better get to Lily's.

MARY CHERRY  
Lily's?

CARMEN  
Well, Lily was watching her, but  
then she went looking for Josh,  
so—

SLIDE CUT TO:

EXT. JOSH AND LILY'S APARTMENT

The Cherry limo pulls away, leaving Carmen and Mackenzie on  
the sidewalk. After waving goodbye, Carmen turns and heads up  
the walk to the apartment's front door. She rings the  
doorbell once, twice.

No answer.

CARMEN  
(looking skyward)  
Lily, where are you?

A noise from behind makes her turn around, where she sees  
Sugar Daddy strolling up the walk.

SUGAR  
Yo, Carmen!

CARMEN  
Sugar Daddy? What are you doing  
here?

SUGAR  
Just come lookin' for my man Josh.

CARMEN  
Weren't you at practice? Lily  
said Josh was there.

SUGAR  
Naw, Coach Krupps let me off,  
'cause I had to work on my  
wrestling moves. So, what about  
you?

CARMEN  
Me?

SUGAR  
Yeah, what are you doing here?

CARMEN  
Oh—Lily stuck me with Mac here, I  
was just seeing if she could take  
her back.  
(shrugs)  
But nobody's home.

Sugar Daddy bends over and waves at Mackenzie.

ANGLE: MACKENZIE'S POV

up at Sugar Daddy waving and making baby-talk.

MACKENZIE (V.O.)  
That's my Uncle Mike. Everyone  
called him "Sugar Daddy" when I  
was a kid.  
(pause)  
I still don't know why.

Meanwhile, Carmen is looking around despairingly.

CARMEN  
Dammit, Lily, why'd you stick me  
like this?

SUGAR  
Hey, you wanna hang here, I'll  
hang.

Carmen turns away.

CARMEN  
(brushing him off)  
That's okay, you don't have to  
bother.

SUGAR  
Carmen!

CARMEN  
(turning back)  
What?

SUGAR  
I don't know! I don't know WHAT  
the deal is with us anymore! You  
want to hang with me, you don't  
want to hang with me...what IS  
that?

CARMEN  
I really don't want to talk about  
this right now.

SUGAR  
(frustrated)  
I thought that's what you WANTED  
to do, was talk!

CARMEN  
Well, not NOW!

Sugar Daddy makes a disgusted noise.

SUGAR  
(muttering)  
Girls!

CARMEN  
I gotta go home. My mom's  
expecting me.

Carmen takes a few steps down the walk, clearly unhappy, while  
Sugar Daddy lingers behind.

She stops and half-turns back.

CARMEN (CONT'D)  
(neutrally)  
Wanna come with?

Sugar Daddy considers that.

SUGAR  
(suspiciously)  
Are we gonna have one of those  
emotional heart-to-heart talk  
things?

CARMEN  
Ummm...not if you don't want to.

SUGAR  
Deal.

Carmen waits for him to catch up, and together they walk off.

CUT TO:

INT. FERRERA LIVING ROOM - LATER

The front door opens and Carmen and Sugar Daddy walk in.

CARMEN  
Mom?

Mrs. Ferrera appears from another room.

MRS. FERRERA  
I'm glad you remembered—  
(seeing Sugar Daddy)  
Oh, hello.

CARMEN  
Mom, you remember Sugar Daddy?  
He's on the football team?

SUGAR  
And the wrestling team.

MRS. FERRERA  
Yes, I think I do remember.

CARMEN  
He, um, I mean, we were walking...  
I was walking home and he just,  
um...

MRS. FERRERA  
Carmen, I'm not Mommie Dearest.

CARMEN  
Who?

MRS. FERRERA  
Nevermind. I mean, you don't have  
to worry about having your friends  
over.

CARMEN  
Oh, good. I mean, um, thanks.

MRS. FERRERA  
(pointing at Mackenzie)  
That's not another one of those  
wierd school projects, is it?

Carmen follows her mother's finger.

CARMEN  
Oh! No, no, this is Mac McQueen,  
Brooke's little sister? Lily was  
watching her, and then she, um,  
kinda roped me into doing it...

MRS. FERRERA  
Carmen, don't forget we have a  
meeting to go to.

SUGAR  
(whispering aside)  
Meeting?

Mrs. Ferrera hears him, though.

MRS. FERRERA  
A.A. I've been sober for four  
months and twelve days. Carmen?

CARMEN  
I know, I know, I'm looking for  
Lily right now. And Brooke.

SUGAR  
Can't you just call Lily on her  
cell?

CARMEN  
Lily doesn't have a cell phone.  
She says the microwaves irradiate  
your brain cells. Or something.

SUGAR  
Oh.

CARMEN  
Mom, I'm gonna try calling Lily  
again.

As Mrs. Ferrera waves them off absently, Carmen takes Sugar  
Daddy's hand and leads him out of the room.

CARMEN (CONT'D)  
Come on.

SLIDE CUT TO:

INT. CARMEN'S ROOM - LATER

Carmen is sitting on the bed with the phone. Meanwhile, Sugar  
Daddy stands in the middle of the room, looking around but  
being careful not to touch anything. Finally, Carmen sighs  
and hangs up the phone.

SUGAR  
No answer?

CARMEN  
Lily's not home, Brooke's not  
home...

SUGAR  
Hey, what about Brooke's cell  
phone?

CARMEN  
Tried that. It's either off or  
out of range.

Sugar Daddy spots Carmen's computer.

SUGAR  
Hey, are you back online? Cool,  
man, so am I! Give me your new  
screen name, I'll IM you sometime.

Carmen gets between him and the computer and hastily pushes a  
stack of hardcopy sheets out of sight.

CARMEN  
(covering)  
You know what—my account's all  
screwed up right now. But, hey,  
there's always the phone.

In turning around, Carmen bumps into Sugar Daddy, and for a  
moment they stand uncomfortably close, until Carmen backs  
away.

SUGAR  
Hey, if this is freakin' you out—

CARMEN  
(hastily)  
Me? No. I mean, unless you—

SUGAR  
I'm cool.

CARMEN  
Good. I mean, me too. 'Cause,  
obviously—

SUGAR  
Right—

CARMEN  
—there's no—

SUGAR  
I hear you.

CARMEN  
—Sure. Right.

There is a second's worth of awkward silence.

CARMEN (CONT'D)  
Maybe we ought to go in the  
kitchen.

Sugar Daddy is already headed out the door.

SUGAR  
Gotcha.

CUT TO:

INT. FERRERA KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

Mrs. Ferrera is waiting for Carmen and Sugar Daddy when they  
walk into the kitchen.

MRS. FERRERA  
Carmen, it's almost time to go.

CARMEN  
I know, but I couldn't find  
anyone.

SUGAR  
I better jam.

Carmen looks at Sugar Daddy.

CARMEN  
You couldn't...?

Sugar Daddy realizes where she's headed, and backs away.

SUGAR  
Oh, no. No, no, no...

CARMEN  
Don't worry, it's okay.

He heads to the kitchen door.

SUGAR  
Okay, well, I'll see you Monday?

CARMEN  
Sure. Call me sometime.

SUGAR  
(nods)  
Catch ya later.

After Sugar Daddy leaves, Carmen looks at her mother.

CARMEN  
Well...there's only one place I  
can think of to leave Mac.

FLIP CUT TO:

INT. THE CHRONICLE - LATER

Sam is busy at her desk when Mackenzie's bassinet gets plopped  
down in front of her. She looks up to see Carmen already  
backing away.

SAM  
(stunned)  
Huh?

CARMEN  
Sorry, Sam, I wouldn't do this,  
but I can't find anyone else...

SAM  
Hey—wait—!

CARMEN  
Sorry!

Carmen turns and flees before Sam can protest further. Sam  
throws out her hands and looks around open-mouthed, as if  
expecting a reasonable explanation to appear out of thin air.

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT THREE


	5. Act Four

ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

INT. THE REIGNDOME

Mackenzie is sitting on the court, her hands wrapped loosely  
around her knees, for the first time unsmiling.

MACKENZIE  
Sam...I don't know what to say  
about Sam.

She looks off, faraway, and her shoulders slump a little.

MACKENZIE (CONT'D)  
I just...I wish everything hadn't  
happened the way it did.

Coming back to the moment, she shrugs fatalistically.

MACKENZIE (CONT'D)  
That's all.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THE CHRONICLE

Sam is still working, with Mackenzie's bassinet perched on a  
file cabinet next to the window. Art Fleischer walks by,  
stopping to look over curiously.

FLEISCHER  
(off-handedly)  
Gee, Sam, I didn't even know you  
were pregnant.

SAM  
(looking up)  
What? Oh! This is Mac—  
Mackenzie.

FLEISCHER  
Ah, the mysterious sibling who  
always seems to be asleep whenever  
I visit your house.

SAM  
Yeah, look, I'm really sorry, I  
know she isn't supposed to be  
here, but she just got dumped in  
my lap, and I haven't had time to  
try to find anyone to take her...

FLEISCHER  
(waving her off)  
It's all right. She doesn't seem  
to mind it.

Indeed, Mackenzie seems to just be staring out the window,  
fascinated by whatever is outside.

FLEISCHER (CONT'D)  
Oh, I need you to run down to the  
vault and pull some old copy.

He hands her a sheet of paper. She jumps up and takes a step  
before stopping.

SAM  
Oh, wait, I can't take Mac down  
there—

She looks around, perhaps hoping for a solution to appear—  
and one does, in the form of Harrison, who walks in  
unsuspecting. Sam jumps on him.

SAM (CONT'D)  
Harrison! Harrison, I need you to  
do me a really huge favor,  
pleeeease?

HARRISON  
Uhhh...

She picks up the bassinet and thrusts it at him.

SAM  
Here, just take Mac home, okay?  
And if nobody's there, stay with  
her? I swear, I will owe you SO  
big if you do. Please?

Harrison starts to say something, but reconsiders.

HARRISON  
Um...okay.

Sam gives him a quick kiss.

SAM  
Great! I love you, you're a  
lifesaver.

Without further ado, she takes off, leaving Harrison a bit  
befuddled.

EFFECT CUT TO:

INT. MCQUEEN LIVING ROOM - LATER

Brooke is pacing the floor, approaching panic.

BROOKE  
(into the phone)  
What do you mean, you can't find  
her?... I don't believe this...  
I have to go looking... What do  
you mean, calm down? YOU LOST  
MY SISTER!

The front door opens, and Harrison trundles through, carrying  
Mackenzie. Brooke's eyes go wide when she sees them.

BROOKE (CONT'D)  
(into the phone)  
I'll call you back.

She tosses the phone aside and rushes up to Harrison.

BROOKE (CONT'D)  
Oh my God, where did you find  
her?

HARRISON  
(shrugs)  
I went to see Sam, and she was  
there. Sam asked me to take her  
home.

BROOKE  
(blinking)  
She was with SAM?

Harrison just shrugs again.

Brooke takes the bassinet and sets it back down on the coffee  
table. Sitting on the sofa, she leans over and tickles  
Mackenzie's chin.

BROOKE (CONT'D)  
Hi, there... I'm so sorry about  
today. I promise I'll make it up  
to you.

Mackenzie just looks up at her, giggling.

Harrison takes a couple of steps towards Brooke.

HARRISON  
Brooke...

BROOKE  
(without looking up)  
You don't have to hang around.

HARRISON  
It's okay—

BROOKE  
Maybe I don't want you to hang  
around.

HARRISON  
(pained)  
Brooke...can't we...?

BROOKE  
Can't we WHAT?

HARRISON  
I don't want to fight with you.  
I—I just want to talk.

BROOKE  
Well, I don't want to talk.

HARRISON  
Brooke, please—

She leaps to her feet, throwing up her hands.

BROOKE  
What? What are we supposed to  
talk about? You and me?  
(glaring)  
You and Sam?

HARRISON  
What's that supposed to mean?

BROOKE  
You went to see her, didn't you?  
Sam?

HARRISON  
(defensively)  
Yeah?

BROOKE  
You didn't come to see me.

HARRISON  
Were you even here?

BROOKE  
Okay, no, but that's totally  
beside the point.

Harrison rubs his eyes.

HARRISON  
Brooke...

BROOKE  
This is just impossible.

He takes a few quick steps and gathers her up in his arms.

BROOKE (CONT'D)  
Harrison, please—

In response, he kisses her.

BROOKE (CONT'D)  
No...I don't want...I CAN'T  
want...

She breaks away and turns her back to him, arms folded.

BROOKE (CONT'D)  
Just go.

For a moment Harrison just stands there; then, with a shake of  
his head, he turns and walks out, while Brooke buries her face  
in her hands.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. MCQUEEN DINING ROOM - EVENING

Mike, Sam, and a very subdued Brooke are sitting around the  
table, eating dinner, when—

JANE (O.S.)  
My God!

Concerned, Mike pulls his chair back.

MIKE  
Honey? Is everything okay?

Jane comes into the dining room holding Mackenzie, who is clad  
only in her diaper.

JANE  
Look at this!

Mike gets up and goes over to them.

MIKE  
I didn't know we used cloth  
diapers.

JANE  
We don't but—not that, THIS.

Jane hoists Mackenzie up so that Mike can see one of the  
jeweled pins. Catching the gleam, Sam gets up and takes a  
look herself, whistling. Only Brooke seems uninterested.

MIKE  
Is that real?

JANE  
I don't know. Sure looks like it.

She hands Mackenzie to Mike, removes one of the pins and holds  
it up to the light.

INSERT: THE PIN

JANE (CONT'D)  
There's...a little cherry on it.

MIKE  
Did Mrs. Cherry give us anything  
like that?

Mike hands Mackenzie back to Jane so that she can re-pin her  
diaper.

JANE  
(frowning)  
Not that I know of.

She turns to Brooke, with Mike and Sam following suit.

JANE (CONT'D)  
Brooke? Care to explain this?

Brooke shrugs listlessly.

SAM  
(playing)  
Yeah, Brooke, did something happen  
today you wanna tell us about?

BROOKE  
I guess you'd just have to ask  
Mac.

Jane's eyes narrow.

JANE  
Very funny.

MIKE  
Honey, whatever it is—we can  
worry about it tomorrow, right?

JANE  
Well...I suppose so.

With that, Mike and Sam sit back down, and Jane, holding  
Mackenzie, joins them at the table.

As the scene pulls away:

MACKENZIE (V.O.)  
So, there you have it: a typical  
day in my life as a baby. So when  
people ask me, "How did you turn  
out so normal?", I always  
answer...  
(chuckling)  
...I have NO idea.

FADE TO BLACK.

END OF ACT FOUR

THE END


End file.
